Your vibe matters and it’s time to sweep away the blues. It doesn’t matter how old you are or what body shape you have. Believe us, you are not alone. So you better stop playing the victim and ease down on self-pity. Life is not fair and everybody has his or her own disadvantages. Underlining your reasons to be the way you are will only strengthen the place you are now and prevent you to reach where you want to be. ’Cause God knows you have all the good reasons and convinced everybody so. …

1. You’re asking for attention and affection. You should never have to look for evidence that your partner loves you. You must simply know that you are loved, and leave it at that. You don’t want to put yourself into attention seeking freak position just because s/he says that s/he loves you but acts another way and leaves you all confused and somewhat not good enough.

2. You can’t be your true self. Are you constantly trying to make yourself more “pleasing” for the person you’re with? It’s not Ok if you can’t ask for what you want/need because of the fear s/he will leave you. …

Common misperception is that love simply HAPPENS; you wait for the right person to come along and then — ‘BOOM!!!’, you fall in love and live happily ever after. The truth is you can INCREASE your CHANCES of meeting someone by being more approachable.

When you are out with friends, be present. Enjoy the food, music, whatever conversation going on. Don’t just nod, listen and participate. Update your friends about your current emotional state and your desire to meet someone. Do not state over the top wishes, be reasonable with your standards. You can always eliminate people but first you need to have options. …

‘Although you can control who can see your profile to some extend (eliminate your immediate friends & family & coworkers by linkedin/facebook filters) it is still disturbing to run across familiar faces. It makes me feel vulnerable, less willing to be open about myself. I often choose to show a rather sarcastic profile as if I was checking it out for fun rather than looking for a serious relationship.’ says Matt about his experience with multiple dating apps including Bumble and Innercircle.

‘Despite its modern looks when it comes to marriage Turkey is a highly traditional country. Matchmaking institution was always well respected and highly demanded. Now a lot of people prefer online matchmaking, a more professional approach rather than your next door neighbor. I don’t feel weird about using it mostly because it is discreet and also my parents know the difference between dating and matchmaking sites and they support me.’ …

Where to meet? It will be nice to have a view of the Bosphorus and delicious bites as well but nothing too heavy to keep you glued to your chair and eat the night away. Preferably a fancy restaurant with a bar scene will keep it dynamic, allowing you to get a feel for each other while trying signature cocktails. Fenix, Scarlet Steakhouse are just a few options at Etiler. If not you may go with a cozy meyhane within the walking distance of bars, keeping it casual. Cihangir or Karaköy will do the trick.

Istanbulites have their own antiques when it comes to judging a crowd and it gives you a great sense of understanding about his/her stance in life. Some find it pretentious to dine at Ulus Sunset while others find it snobbish to join an artsy conversation at Soho House. Some like the friendly atmosphere of Moda, Kadıköy. Some won’t step a foot outside a rather safe environment of a luxurious mall and even so you might classify them by the choice of that mall; Kanyon for white-collar professionals and Zorlu for socialites. Well, you will get used to it, how people resolve like oil and water by the preference of venues; how you start to see familiar faces by the choice of your own taste and never come across others. …

This city is huge and full of surprises from the minute you set foot on the street. At times you end up being the center of attention when all you want to do is to blend in with the crowd. And other times feel totally invisible and irrelevant no matter how hard you try to connect. It’s not hard to meet locals, people are usually very keen to say “hi” and hear out your story. What’s hard is to connect with people on a real level, maintaining a deeper conversation that might actually go somewhere. …

It is most likely that you are miscalculating stuff. So let’s dig deep into that stuff; what it is and what can be done about it.

Are you sure you haven’t bitten by a serial dater bug? That disease is quite an epidemic one! You start with all innocent emotions; want to get to know the real personality of someone and settle down. Then before you know you start to cross out people over silly things; the way he drives or the type of heels she is wearing. Are you looking for merits to cherish or flaws to get irritated? If you look close enough you will gather enough evidence for both cases. …

Date #1 A walk on the seaside, preferably between Arnavutköy and Hisar, which is about 2,5 miles long. You may grab a coffee or ice-cream on the way to keep you busy. Bebek is the best spot to do that with lots of options; Mini Dondurma, Abbas, Cup of Joy, Starbucks… Afterwards Bebek Park is a nice and free spot to just hang, enjoy the view, watch kids playing, dogs strolling.

Date #2 Fancy some history? Let’s visit Eminönü, Sultan Ahmet, Topkapı Palace, Gülhane. Gülhane is indeed the master garden of Topkapi Palace so it has the best view of the Bosphorus. …